Everything is always better on payday right!? 4. I repeat I am plural! Canva. In a coma, you still have brain function, which doctors can measure by observing electrical activity and your reactions to external stimuli. For instance, a friend will be amused when you sarcastically reply, Not today, Satan! However, I need to take you back about 12 years to answer that question. Before I answer, I let you know that those who know my age get bad luck. Take Your Time. How much are you willing you pay me if I tell you? Whoever cast a voodoo spell on my love life can chill now. You may have noticed that I take a step back when we talk. This one is bound to get a laugh. Whatever your thoughts on death may be, I hope you enjoy these random humorous quotes about mortality, death, and dying. 7. Theyre incapacitated when it comes to sending a simple text, yet they can Insta their whole day. Make sure the person you say this to is able to take a joke. Its no secret that essays take longer to write than typical text messages. When you're mad, but don't want to ruin your impression, this is a nice way to reply to your crush or match. The government? Youre free to go. You should really come with a warning label. 75. Getting better with every passing second. but it's just so blunt and funny. Im in a relationship with myself. They might even steal it to use in the future. Socrates (philosopher), "The reports of my death have been greatly exaggerated." If you want, Ill give you a discount, baby. 8. Id love to give you a nasty look, but it appears you already have one. 87. 5. (What To Do), Why Do I Feel like a Roommate in My Marriage? Sure, we all have things to do, but when someone takes two days to reply, that is a sign that they are the problem. Im sorry I hurt your feelings. This does not seem right. "I'll get back to you once I'm back from my long-awaited trip to the fridge.". Furthermore, he has teaching experience from Aarhus University. Im not ready to share my food with anyone yet. Your relationship status is your business alone (and your partners, if you have one). Trying to remember the name of that weird person you remind me of. 71. Through humorous musings about Scalia's . While using humor and creativity in your responses is fun, ensure you steer clear from using puns related to religion and sensitive topics. Hope this status quo persists for the rest of the day.". Try these OOO messages to let people know you're taking a break. There is not always a need to be so funny, witty, or clever. 32. But still, some people will try to satisfy their curiosity and meddle with your personal life. Ever wanted to be the wise-ass who always has a comeback for everything? [Read: 30 foolproof pickup lines and 10 you should never ever use]. Good luck feel free to drop me a comment below if you have any funny responses I should add to the list, and do let me know if you get any memorable responses back. Do you really care? This just in: Bad communication skills are not trending this season! This one could be a funny or cute response to sorry for a late reply, based on how they take it. Financially? If you've been stuck inside doing chores and homework all day, and your parents ask you how you are, what response do they expect? This means that when they get super excited, it can cause their heart to beat too fast, which causes death. However, it is best to stick to the basics with a colleague. Rita Rudner (comedian), "When I die, I want my body to be donated for research, but more specifically, to a scientist who is working on bringing dead bodies back to life." "It's a funny thing about life, once you begin to take note of the things you are grateful for, you begin to lose sight of the things that you lack.". 62. Just standing here waiting for stupid questions I guess. Humans are very complex creatures, but we're also creatures of habit who say one thing when we mean another. 7. 17. Your attempt at social interaction to be polite is hereby acknowledged. 52. Who told you that? Maybe their roommate was sick. Awwits so cute when you talk about things you dont understand. Whether my maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter. Winston Churchill (politician), At a formal dinner party, the person nearest to death should always be seated closest to the bathroom. George Carlin (comedian), Dont send me flowers when Im dead. Spiritually? Youre totally on the same page. But if youre getting fed up with always being asked the same questions, you shouldnt feel bad about giving a funny or witty reply. You don't need to say it. She works with her clients to help them evolve in their problem areas and find new meaning in their lives, thus finding the best versions of themselves. You could reply with how you are doing and what has been keeping you busy lately. Cant complainI have tried, but no one listens. Hi! "My level of sarcasm has gotten to a point where I don't even know if I am kidding anymore.". 9. Whats with all these questions? Just Smile And Nod Stupidity isnt a crime. I am the hurricane setting fire to the forests at night when no one else is alive or awake however you choose to see it and I live in my own flames sometimes burning too bright and too wild to make things last or handle myself or anyone else and so I run. If you are, then maybe were meant to be! Hey, I can see straight to the back of your head when I look into your eyes! 12. Liked what you just read? Most of the time, that is not true. 35. Impressive! I never even listen when you tell me them. It would be great if puppies would stay puppies forever. In reality, they are not cool, they are just rude. Passed into the next room and told me to tell you go fuck yourself. Are you serious? Not Bad. 11. Which just make the unexpected moments of levity all the more hilarious. Not everybody may appreciate them. As Head Of Content Operations, Harini sets the tone and editorial direction for StyleCraze to deliver engaging, interesting, and authentic content revolving around women's health, wellness, and beauty. Funny Responses to "What Are You Doing?" What does it look like I'm doing? This one is a bit depressing, which is why you should watch when you use it. 3 I'm Just Wondering How You Are "Tony, I'm here to be for you what someone once was for me. Scroll down! 13. There are many other euphemisms you could use, though: Still ticking. You can fire back with a witty and flirty response. Average, I think, that sounds about right. Use them as you see fit when someone pokes their nose on your relationship status. Thats because the person I like doesnt like me back. Why is it OK for you to be an idiot, but not OK for me to point it out? Its the same reason why I dont post pictures of myself. Are you going to marry me? Get the very best of LovePanky straight to your inbox! Martin holds a Masters degree in Finance and International Business. 29. Ive seen your kind before but last time, I had to pay admission. In My Phone or On My Phone Which is Correct? 19. I'm loved! By accepting all cookies, you agree to our use of cookies to deliver and maintain our services and site, improve the quality of Reddit, personalize Reddit content and advertising, and measure the effectiveness of advertising. Stop asking me why Im single! The 'Sex And The City' Cab Light Theory, Revisited, It's Hot When People Call You By Your Last Name, I Never Feel Older Than When I Try To Make A TikTok, Get Even More From Bustle Sign Up For The Newsletter. All rights reserved. 92. Without your thumbs, its unlikely you will be able to text anyone. Privacy Policy. Or you could be humorous back at them and say "No, I'm not. 1. I dont think youre stupid. More like, How I Met That Jerk I Quickly Forgot About. Usually, people live and learn. If laughter is the best medicine, your face must be curing the world. The person will likely pick up on the joke, making this awkward situation something that can be laughed off. 3. Clever comebacks not only showcase your distastethey demonstrate your intelligence, too. You win the internet. Maybe because I have a Ph.D. in impatience. You grow on peoplebut then again, so does cancer. Could Be Payday. Everyday that you're on the right side of the grass is a good day. 2023 LovePanky.com Privacy Policy | Terms of Service | About Us | Write for Us | Contact Us, How to be funny and make someone laugh over text just by being YOU, How to learn to be witty and win over everyone in the room, 20 wise medieval insults you could bring back into trend, 12 types of humor you can use and how it affects the people around you, How to be funny and make people love your company, 30 foolproof pickup lines and 10 you should never ever use, How to have playful banter and keep the flirting alive forever, 20 things you MUST know to master a dry sense of humor, The step-by-step guide to being a funny person and make everyone love your company. Thats no excuse for treating someone like they dont exist, especially since 85% of participants said theyd rather be told upfront that someones not feeling it. She is a Certified Emotional Intelligence Practitioner from The Priority Academy and has over 17 years of experience in content writing and editing for online media. 2. Be Thankful To Be Alive Quotes. The answer to this question has become so generic it feels like there is an auto-complete machine in our heads! 40. She buried three husbands and two of them were just napping." 51. But, if they were, it would be a valid reason for them taking so long to reply. Check out the following infographic for some practical tips to maintain a conversation and take it forward.SaveIllustration: StyleCraze Design Team. I am doing a bit better than before, but not nearly as awesome as I am going to be. Here, there are hilarious replies, witty comebacks, flirty responses, and many other answers to this question. Photo by Glenna Rankin on reshot 02 "It has been a while since I've heard from you, and at this point, I'm over it." It was also revealed that 40% of users who said they had done the ghosting did so because they simply didnt know how to explain their disinterest and felt that disappearing altogether was less hurtful. I just woke up like that one day. 93. Her sessions aim to bring about transformation in her clients lives, perspectives, and relationships. 64. 28. However, we wouldn't recommend you to overdone your sarcasm. Let them know that you're itching to go on a date. But, if you do say it, it will highlight the problem. | Are you surviving? But half the time, it is a nightmare. Im still waiting for my Superman/Wonder Woman. . 14. 5. Perfect for that BRB, shower text that they never BRBd to. Youre worse. This way, youre insulting themand they just might be dumb enough not to notice. response, because I need clarity in my interactions. Save it for your best friend, but avoid using it on your teacher. 38. You are shocked by his/her response, and you respond angrily "but what about me?". Physically? Like for your friends and close ones, here are some witty responses and replies to make them laugh, because they know exactly how you're doing and ask you as par of formality. The only way you'll ever get laid is if you crawl up a chicken's butt and wait. 84. Thats funny, because everyone on it is a prick. After all, every single day that you're still alive is a good day overall. For more information, please see our The hottest single of the year is me. All jokes aside, death is one of the few "sure things" in life, and it's also something all of us have in common. Living an amazing dream. 2. Were already married, remember?! If someone takes a long time to reply, it can feel much longer than it is. 13. Reply. Learn more about us here. Funny Answers to "Why Are You Still Single?" Because no one worthy has beaten me yet in a card fight! The Arena Media Brands, LLC and respective content providers to this website may receive compensation for some links to products and services on this website. "I am doing good, thank you" is basic, and you can do better than that! 54. This might be okay if they take up to 24 hours, but not more than that. For example, if it is a friend, you can be funny or witty. If someone is going to ask you the same old everyday questions, I dont think Im being unreasonable when I say theyre probably just going through the motions and not really interested in your answer. In fact, theyre taking too much of it. 96. I am better on the inside than I look on the outside. 60. 9. Sure isnt my pay, Im still pretty broke. Who knows, maybe you can steer a conversation in a more intriguing path. What's your sign? Stand still, so I can hit you with my truck. This is a good response to throw out there. Call the police." 13 Quora User 88. It's definitely a better reply than the standard, "I'm fine.". Also you texted very late; I would think one of my friends were joking or drunk since it's near Halloween. Do you have a minute? Humans are sophisticated beings, but we are also creatures of habit who say one thing while we mean something else. [Read: 33 very creative insults to intellectually insult someone with your sarcasm]. Giving witty and interesting responses instead of the generic Im fine is often the smartest way to kickstart a nice conversation after the greeting How Are You?. But, they will grow up into a dog. You are about as interesting as a documentary on dirt. Another way to say Still Alive? Thats the biggest joke Ive heard recently. It may come across as insensitive, but that's just how our current world works. (Heres What To Do), Roommate Sleeps in Living Room All The Time! You are living proof that manure can learn to walk and talk. For your information, Im in a relationship with food. They really care for you, and you better value their presence well. 6. April 6, 2018 There's nothing funny about being in a courtroom. Thats because my husband/wife wont let me date. He started this blog to help others find and define their own self development journey. The foundation of any effort to get your ex boyfriend back starts and ends with the no contact rule - which means you probably shouldn't be texting with him in the first place. For some reason, some people think that not texting back is cool. Unknown, "He was a great patriot, a humanitarian, a loyal friend . Phil lives in England, UK, and has around 20 years experience as a professional life, career and executive coach. Death is inevitablesome might even say it is a terminal inconvenience or a reason to suddenly stop sinning. We all grow up as we get older. Brian OldWolf (author) from Troon on July 30, 2020: Yes, this is a very witty, funny article. Haha use this humorous response to make someone laugh-you never know, you just might brighten their day. I dont know. Alright so far, but there is plenty of time for things to get bad. 17. Id love to insult you, but you probably wouldnt understand. Because Ive been waiting for you all my life. "Accept the facts for what they are, and be grateful you're not being strung along or played.". Some people are going to find your witty responses funny, and some people arent. Boom. It might seem like a joke, but this is what I think. Hey, whered you get that nose? StyleCraze provides content of general nature that is designed for informational purposes only. Search, discover and share your favorite Still Alive GIFs. I and others have experienced, on several occasions, that your breath. Better inside than outside. Before you complain about anything, be thankful for your life and the things that are still going well.". Because if you are, youre doing it right. If you are in a coma, on the other hand, you are legally very much alive. [Read: 20 things you MUST know to master a dry sense of humor]. Me being single is just a conspiracy! You speak as if youre not single yourself! I dont know where you got your looks, but I hope you kept the receipt. How are you? could be much more than a basic question, but we tend to stick to the same old, half-hearted responses. 16. 42. This one is a bit long. I will leave that up to your imagination. Otherwise, we would still be with them today. Nice and dandy, like cotton candy. But, compared to messaging, pigeons are much slower. At minding my own business? Pick your struggle. Feel my shirt. Aeldrion 5 yr. ago. "All tragedies are finished by a death, all comedies by a marriage." Lord Byron (poet) Looks like I overestimated the number of brain cells you have. Maybe you said something so vile, so horrible, so disgusting that they no longer want to speak to you. 33 very creative insults to intellectually insult someone with your sarcasm, How to be a fun texter and make anyone laugh while reading your texts. 2. A little bit worse now that youve asked. Wait, are you my Superman/Wonder Woman? I hated you the moment I met you, and I still hate you. I'm alive, whoa! My grandfather had a ton of these. 16. Well, Im hoping its going to get a lot better, I cant lie. Damn, now why didnt you think of it earlier?! Someone took their costume way too seriously. "I'm alright, mate". WHAT DID THEY SAY?? If you're friendly and check in with each other here and there, reply but keep the conversation short. 76. I agree, thanks for sharing. Funny Response to "What Are You Doing?" "I cry." Humor is about creating surprises. 73. 5. 14. No one will expect to hear it, so you'll be catching your friends off guard. I have found that people in a coma find it very difficult to hold a phone, turn it on, look at their messages, think of a reply, and then type out their reply. It must have been a long, lonely journey. Ghosting is an unfortunately very common occurrence, according to a 2020 Hinge survey, which found that 91% of users had been ghosted at least once. Im too expensive. 20 Warning Signs You Are In A Codependent 20 Warning Signs You Are In A Codependent Relationship. 3. parkerbilly 3 yr. ago. Because Im awkward and ugly. But, if you do say it, it will highlight the problem. 53. Of course, you don't want to brag, which is why this funny line is useful. I had promised myself I would murder the next person who asked me that question. On the plus side, a little humor injected into someones day can have a positive impact on their otherwise average day! Now that is pretty f****** funny. He's jokingly texting if you're ok. I dont have time to accommodate other human beings in my life! You don't want to give the same, bland answer all the time. Now, I understand why some animals eat their young. Image: wikimedia commons 6. The truth is, if you really want to get him back, you should follow the steps outlined here.. But, as soon as we feel better, that person no longer serves their purpose. I was hoping you would be able to tell me that. What if questions can help you form connections fast, but you don't want to rush or force it. Are those space pants? Perhaps it will encourage them to respond quicker in the future. What could go wrong? At minding my own business? 61. 68. Here's one to use when you're having a spectacular day. By subscribing to this BDG newsletter, you agree to our. Im still trying to figure out an answer to that question if Im honest. I dont go around asking how youre still married, do I? Make sure you give witty responses only to persons close to you, or you know they wont get offended by such responses. Thank you Fred. Her sessions aim to bring about transformation in her clients lives, perspectives, and relationships. Although for some, traveling to your partner might not be an option. A truly stinging sarcastic response to I love you. Youre a ground-hugger. Talk is cheapbut then again, so are you. Funny and Clever Answers to "Why Are You Still Single?". 1. I am high-quality, 100% plant-fed. Be grateful if it happens in that order. David Gerrold (author), Self-decapitation is an extremely difficult, not to say dangerous, thing to attempt. WS Gilbert (dramatist), I bequeath my entire estate to my wife on the condition that she marries again. Just standing here waiting for stupid questions I guess. Voice command: Alexa, define rock paper scissors lizard Spock. How Am I Still Alive. 2. Keep talking. This person is taking so long to reply, you will be waiting for geology to change before you get one. Come on, now I want you to whisper that question slowly to my ear. Keep calm and be awesome. As geeky as it is, this funny response to I love you has got to make you chuckle. This is perhaps not for the faint-hearted. Maybe because I clap my hands when the credits roll at the end of a movie? If this doesnt cause them to reply, then maybe you should rethink your friendship with this person. Rather than kicking yourself later when you think of something clever you should have said, keep a few witty insults and comebacks at the ready, just in case. Someday, you might actually say something intelligent. - Anonymous. How did you get here? You don't want to be rude, but it's okay to give them a little sarcasm by using this phrase. 14. Unlikely, but worth a shot. Stop joking! Because Id rather be alone than put up with someones sh*t! 9 Best Ways To Ask Someone To Talk On The Phone, 9 Other Ways to Say Im Good At on a Resume, 10 Polite Ways to Say No Visitors after Surgery, 11 Best Ways to Say Im Here for You to a Loved One, 10 Professional Ways to Say I Am Not Feeling Well. It is a common belief that auto-responses are monotonous and boring. The answer is simple. Theres too much Ghostbusters texting potential to not take advantage of the pun-tastic opportunity. Joshua Burns, "Death is a delightful hiding place for weary men." 3. I am not looking for anyone, and neither is anyone looking for me. So, how does average sound? Holy s**t, you can see me?! I have a gold watch that belonged to him. Well, Im married to our lord and savior, Jesus Christ. Im a little busy right now, but Id love the chance to ignore you some other time. [Read: 48 smart and sarcastic lines and quotes that kick ass!]. I am doing wellor that could be my anti-depressants speaking. If youre still single, some people will ask you for a reason or explanation, in one way or another. You bring everyone so much joy when you leave the. If you're brain-dead, you're dead. You don't need to miss them, because you are willing to travel to them, and kiss them. Like "I am not a Sunday morning inside four walls with clean blood and organized drawers. If they insist that they are bad at replying, you should unfollow them, because you are bad at following people who are bad at replying. There is no gray area (<brain matter joke): either you are brain-dead or you are not. I dont know how you do it, but after a shower, you look even greasier. Often, we text some people when were at rock bottom, to try and get their help, or just have someone to talk to. We found the best coronavirus memes about social distancing, toilet paper, homeschooling, as well as ways to spread a little more kindness. When I eat cake, I flip it upside-down just so I can lick the icing off the plate! On this page, I've gathered together 100 of the best. The best GIFs are on GIPHY. If there is just one valid reason for someone not replying to you, that reason would be their death. Or "Better than some, not as good as others.". Just because you have a dick doesnt mean you need to act like one. Oh, a thought crossed your mind? Maybe you can Google it. If your best friends are worrying about you due to your new break up, this one you can use to make them feel relaxed. If you knock on my hearts door, I might let you in. I bet if you stood on a street corner, youd make some money. I dont mind you talking so much, as long as you dont mind me not listening. Im reminded of how unfair life is every time I see you. Check-in later and well find out if I did or not. You are waiting for their reply, and they should be aware of this. Here are 28 of the best ghosting responses to send someone whos been ignoring you. [Read: The step-by-step guide to being a funny person and make everyone love your company]. The data will take longer to reach Earth than it would if it was sent from someone on Earth. Whether you're in the jury or on the witness stand or on trial yourself, it's a tense and nail-biting environment. Well, are you? Because nowadays, the industry prefers singles over albums. They were not expecting someone so wonderful to talk to them. Funny as phuck. Is your family tree a cactus? For example, when people expect you to say yes, you say no; when people wish you to say a big number, you give a tiny number. funny response to are you still alive. Sort: Relevant Newest # living # seth meyers # im here # its me # lnsm # tired # dead # shot # arrows # loser # hello # hi # hey # tap # listen # alive # pearl jam # eddie vedder # i'm good # i'm ok Break the cycle, rise above, focus on science! There's no reason why you should have to express emotions to whoever asked. 37. You just have bad luck at thinking. Overwatch 2 Friendly Reminder To Leave a LIKE & SUBSCRIBE, ThanksJoin this channel to get access to perks:https://www.youtube.com/cha. Its a before picture in one of those plastic surgery magazines, isnt it? Like seriously, you hoped for him to be run over by a truck or something. I'm fine. Taco Tuesday is pressure enough, I tell you! You just live. 99. *sips wine/tea*. I learned my lesson. Turning the question around on them without actually having to answer? Nasty comebacks dont require a lot of wit; instead, these will land your target flat on their back and wallowing in self pity. What should I doI like you too much. As unlikely as this is, it might be wise to double-check. Then I hope you find someone whos good looking, honest, smart, and cultured. Great, because my name wasnt in todays obituaries. I once showed up twenty-four hours early for a date. You know when you go to meet some friends, or friends of your friends, or to a party or whatever, when you meet someone new, at some point people ask you: "SO WHAT DO YOU DO FOR A LIVING?" And what I wanted to do in this thread is list the craziest answers that you can give, you know, shock people or create an extremely awkard moment. When you show them how you're not affected by them at all, that's when your comedic skills become the best and make others laugh as well. 20. Reddit and its partners use cookies and similar technologies to provide you with a better experience. Brian OldWolf (author) from Troon on January 20, 2020: Shing Araya from Philippines on January 08, 2020: All are witty and funny at the same time. Same thing you're doing, talking to you now. Shooting yourself in front of the person who asked. It is a basic courtesy that when one of your leads converts to a paying customer, you demonstrate your gratitude and make their transfer as smooth as possible. How do you want me to be?
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